NEWSLETTER FROM BLOOMING RELATIONSHIPS

At last I have settled into 2007. I wasn't ready there for a while. Now it feels like a welcome and familiar friend.

A major part of my personal life and work life journey lately has been thinking about and trying to understand my energy and my relationship to other people's energy. I find it amazing to consider how connected we are to each other and to everything in nature, while at the same time we are all struggling to have our own unique sense of self. Everything affects me. Which then means, of course, I affect everything. It might seem like a lot of power. Sometimes it feels like a blade of grass on the stormy sea. But most of all it feels like something I want to better understand.

Two things come to mind for me about my growing up years that contribute to my musing about energy. One is a "memory" or a "knowing" (an energetic knowing) that as I was being born I thought to myself, "My goodness! I didn't know this was going to happen again so soon!" The other knowing I have is of my best friend ever, Bradshaw, who was a constant and dependable companion no one else could see, but I talked about whenever given the opportunity. We played together endless hours. Both memories are Stories I Tell Myself (see previous newsletter), because I have talked about this and thought about this often enough over the years that it is far more what my adult mind says and far less about what my adult mind holds in conscious memory.

"I didn't know this was going to happen again so soon", and "Bradshaw", are both about going back and stretching ahead. Continuity. Not ending. Always being. What is this that goes back and stretches ahead? I call it energy. I also call it me.

Some Stories I Tell Myself are that I was an imaginative child, I have had other lives, and I was still connected to another world as a small child. I also tell myself I chose my parents because I had particular lessons to learn and growing to do that could happen with Ruth and Fred as my parents. I certainly took my own sweet time to learn those lessons! But it does seem to be happening. At least, that is the story I tell myself.

I am learning to use my energy and my knowing. I am prepared to guide and facilitate your journey with energy as well. Because I have six decades of experience in stretching and learning, I believe I can facilitate you and you and your partner as your journey together unfolds.

I invite you to join me in some next steps.

Sometimes I wonder if we have already met.

Someday I hope to go to my cottage (that I do not yet have) in the woods of northern Michigan to discover my way into a deeper and deeper knowing. When that happens, I will share the journey with you.

A recent reading I suggest:

"The Law of Attraction", by authors Esther and Jerry Hicks, featuring Abraham.

A recent CD I suggest:

"The Secret", a meditation with Kelly Howell. My grandson downloaded mine from Itunes.

A recent video I suggest:

"The Secret". I find the original one that features Esther Hicks and Abraham more satisfactory than the edition that has edited them out.

Warmly, Nancy Ross

DANCING WITH LOVE AT SURFSIDE

I'm sitting quietly at my desk where I write. "Beethoven at Bedtime" is playing on the CE player in the room next to me where I see clients. Beethoven's Symphony #2, the "Emperor" concerto, Violin concerto in D, the Moonlight Sonata and more. Peaceful, lush, soft, full, soothing, startling. Preparation for a night of dreams. Infolding music, cocooning me in a warm, misty cloud of protection. I relax lazily into my day dreams.

My mind wanders, drifts, is ever moving, not still, dreaming. I see Nick, four years old, dancing on the sand at Surfside in South Carolina. Uncles, aunts, grandparents, mom and dad; all an unnoticed audience in his background, unaware of the drama unfolding in front of them, lulled by the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sun.

Nick swirls, swings, moves with fawn-like grace, as he covers his head with his dad's tee shirt and wraps his tiny, lithe, sun bronzed body in beach towels. Six year old Chris joins, him. Both boys, brightly coloured towels filled with the breeze created by their graceful movements, fling their little boy made sails over their head and fly over the hot beach sand and through the muddy ocean shore. Back to the underside of the steep steps that go up to the condo, they return to their make-do dressing room, where they design another costume.

Emerging from their change room, this time they are Zoro; another time, desert sheiks; then princesses; or lords, or sailors. Always changing, quick as a sunbeam bouncing off glass or crystal, their imagination flings them into another mutually created world. Not communicating with words, these two boys are so wondrously connected that their unrehearsed performance is a seamless flow.

Clo tries to get a photograph. Every time she focuses the camera, they escape. Usually eager to pose for pictures, this seems to be a private game for just the two of them, not to be documented or frozen in time for the family history book. The co-created work of art comes from deep inside each boy and is not intended to amuse others. The game/dance goes on for a long while. We are witnessing the making of magic. Clo and I feel privileged to be present for this act of pure beauty unfolding naturally and unselfconsciously before us.

We realize we are watching the wonder and innocence of childhood as it should be. Amazing creativity, aliveness working/playing/being in tandem. Connected, two moving as one, rhythm, synchronicity. The mutually agreeable world of communication we all long for in our adult relationships. What has happened to us?

Most of us have never known the depth of trust, collaboration and connection exhibited by these two marvelous and profoundly loved little boys. Maybe that's what has happened to us. Most of us have never known the love Chris and Nick receive from their mom and dad, their extended family and friends. How vitally important that children be loved, guided, and nurtured so they can thrive. So that as adults, they continue to be the marvelous beings they were at birth.

....new archetype of partnership.....

The following is a 2 paragraph quote from the latest book by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt entitiled: RECEIVING LOVE.

"There is a new archetype of partnership evolving in our culture. Marriage is alive and well, but the form of marriage is changing, as all forms do when they no longer fulfill their originating purpose. The personal marriage, which is dominant today, focuses on meeting personal needs at the e xpense of the relationship. This is the marriage that is being abandoned by more than 50% of couples every year. The lesson our culture is learning very painfully is that it does not work to be self-centered, to look out only for yourself. We are by nature relational creatures and connection is our essence. Although we cannot actually lose our connections, we can lose our awareness of them. And when we feel disconnected, we not only suffer, but we inflict suffering on others.

The marriage of the future will become a partnership where the focus is no longer on the individuals involved, but on the relationship itself. For the first time in history, marriage will be healing, because it will restore wholeness and transform society. The partnership marriage will be characterized by commitment, dialogue, the absence of negativity, and the increase of appreciation, empathy, and kindness. Monologue will be replaced by dialogue, symbiosis with differentiation, and conflict with connections. The current question is, 'How can this marriage meet my needs?' The new question will be, 'What does our relationship need?'