AGING: WHAT A CHALLENGE! AND DELIGHT!
I honestly thought it would be a piece of cake! A walk in the park. Literally, actually. I saw myself walking, hiking, exploring, visiting, learning. Like taking bird watching classes and going on trips with Elder Hostel.
Imagine my surprise (and I bet you certainly can) when I woke up one morning, realized I would soon be 71 years old, and had to get ready to go to work so I could pay the mortgage. Where was the part about retire at 65 (or sooner for some), be mortgage free and available for travel and hobbies? And how about bored? Wasn't I supposed to be bored and have to learn new ways of using my time well?
More and more of us are realizing the cost of living makes it impossible to retire in our sixties if we want to continue with the life style we have come to enjoy and expect. I don't at all think that is a bad thing! Quite the contrary, actually. Some of us are creating new ways to make a living. Some are taking a long time love, possibly a previous hobby, something we haven't had time for in the past, and are learning to turn that dream into suplimenting our income. Absolutely fun! Brings renewed energy, hope, joy, challenge.
One of the unexpected and particularly blessed gifts I have discovered in my aging, is how to open myself to the spiritual world-----again. I remember that I knew how to do this as a child. I forget what I know. And I scare myself. The power of the energy that seems to surround me sometimes makes me think I am tired. When really what I am is scared. What could possibly be so scary about intensly feeling the energy of someone else? It doesn't make sense to me. But it has been true.
Thirty years ago I was married to the father of my four children who are now grown and have families of there own. I almost never see him. Haven't had a bit of contact with him in many years. My children don't see him very often either. His choice. A few weeks ago I found myself intensly absorbed by an energy that for lack of better words, I call a psychic web. For 2 days I constantly thought about him: about him dying, us talking, me saying "Once we loved each other. What do you think happened?"
The power of that experience so absorbed me that I could think of little else for 2 days and it continued to hover for 3 more days. I believe unconsciously his spirit was seeking me. I don't know for what purpose. I make up his body, his spirit as well, was taking a significant step toward dying. I would like to believe he wanted contact with me for the purpose of connecting like we never were really able to do. I doubt that is true. What is probably more likely is his spirit, which is way wiser than he has been able to be, was reaching out knowing that healing needed to happen and could in fact happen, if he could let it. He can't. I am sorry.
I've been caught in a psychic web before and expect I will be again. Aging is helping me trust and believe in myself. Sometimes I know important things and it doesn't matter one bit if anyone else knows it. My daughter called her father and asked him if he was alright. He said absolutely and denied anything had happened at all. I don't believe him. But I do suspect he may not have known something was happening. His unconscious was trying to reach me, but he was still too something----scared maybe, to let that happen. Probably too angry as well!
If we are all one, and we return to the source, when a part of him, or anyone else for that matter, dies, a part of me dies as well. Of course I could feel it.
Have you seen the movie"POWDER". An excellent movie about the pain, challenges, and gifts of a young albino man. There is a scene in the woods with hunters who have killed a deer. He forces the hand of the hunter who shot the gun onto the deer's heart and the killer experiences the throes of death with the deer as he died. It was powerful and has stayed with me over the years. I don't remember the protagonist's name. But I can see his pain as he tried to teach humanity to someone who was doing random violence. What happens to one happens to all. I didn't used to really understand that. Now I think I do.
Imagine my surprise (and I bet you certainly can) when I woke up one morning, realized I would soon be 71 years old, and had to get ready to go to work so I could pay the mortgage. Where was the part about retire at 65 (or sooner for some), be mortgage free and available for travel and hobbies? And how about bored? Wasn't I supposed to be bored and have to learn new ways of using my time well?
More and more of us are realizing the cost of living makes it impossible to retire in our sixties if we want to continue with the life style we have come to enjoy and expect. I don't at all think that is a bad thing! Quite the contrary, actually. Some of us are creating new ways to make a living. Some are taking a long time love, possibly a previous hobby, something we haven't had time for in the past, and are learning to turn that dream into suplimenting our income. Absolutely fun! Brings renewed energy, hope, joy, challenge.
One of the unexpected and particularly blessed gifts I have discovered in my aging, is how to open myself to the spiritual world-----again. I remember that I knew how to do this as a child. I forget what I know. And I scare myself. The power of the energy that seems to surround me sometimes makes me think I am tired. When really what I am is scared. What could possibly be so scary about intensly feeling the energy of someone else? It doesn't make sense to me. But it has been true.
Thirty years ago I was married to the father of my four children who are now grown and have families of there own. I almost never see him. Haven't had a bit of contact with him in many years. My children don't see him very often either. His choice. A few weeks ago I found myself intensly absorbed by an energy that for lack of better words, I call a psychic web. For 2 days I constantly thought about him: about him dying, us talking, me saying "Once we loved each other. What do you think happened?"
The power of that experience so absorbed me that I could think of little else for 2 days and it continued to hover for 3 more days. I believe unconsciously his spirit was seeking me. I don't know for what purpose. I make up his body, his spirit as well, was taking a significant step toward dying. I would like to believe he wanted contact with me for the purpose of connecting like we never were really able to do. I doubt that is true. What is probably more likely is his spirit, which is way wiser than he has been able to be, was reaching out knowing that healing needed to happen and could in fact happen, if he could let it. He can't. I am sorry.
I've been caught in a psychic web before and expect I will be again. Aging is helping me trust and believe in myself. Sometimes I know important things and it doesn't matter one bit if anyone else knows it. My daughter called her father and asked him if he was alright. He said absolutely and denied anything had happened at all. I don't believe him. But I do suspect he may not have known something was happening. His unconscious was trying to reach me, but he was still too something----scared maybe, to let that happen. Probably too angry as well!
If we are all one, and we return to the source, when a part of him, or anyone else for that matter, dies, a part of me dies as well. Of course I could feel it.
Have you seen the movie"POWDER". An excellent movie about the pain, challenges, and gifts of a young albino man. There is a scene in the woods with hunters who have killed a deer. He forces the hand of the hunter who shot the gun onto the deer's heart and the killer experiences the throes of death with the deer as he died. It was powerful and has stayed with me over the years. I don't remember the protagonist's name. But I can see his pain as he tried to teach humanity to someone who was doing random violence. What happens to one happens to all. I didn't used to really understand that. Now I think I do.
posted by Nancy Ross at
1:10 PM
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