What About Singles?

I have several very dear friends who are not in a primary, monogamous, long- term, committed relationship. I write about the healing powers of those relationships. The only way to flourish I, and others like me preach, is in the arms, the gaze, the love, the safety of a loved one.

What a bleak and unfair prediction/announcement I make. How arrogant can I be, for goodness sake? I am totally discounting and diminishing the creative and healing experience of hundreds of thousands of people who do not have a life partner, be it by choice or fate. I ask for forgiveness. My life journey has been to learn how to make a relationship work. My marriage of 17 years failed and I played a big part in that happening. Others suffered. So did I. Hence, my yearning to heal myself as well as help to heal others.

How dare I be so uncompromising! Of course there are a myriad of ways to heal. All of them, I believe, require some form of intimacy and vulnerability, however. What jumps right out at me first thing is the healing power of spirituality and faith. A sense of power within or a trust in a Higher Power can gives us a profound belief and trust in self and guide us to the knowing of belonging, being loved, a feeling of grace and an awareness of the depth of connection we all have with what is Divine.

I talk and write about “being one with all that is” when in the womb, that the safest emotionally and spiritually most of us will ever be is while in the womb. That same remembering can happen when we are able to turn ourselves over to something or someone greater than our obvious physical self. Music, poetry, meditation, solitary walks, dreams, listening, seeing, can all contribute to that connection with more than self and help us feel washed in intimacy and a deep healing secure place throughout our physical being. For those who can go within or trust beyond self, religion or spirituality helps us feel reconnected to our originally whole and sacred self and contributes hugely to healing losses and comforting hurts from growing up times.

This is a much as I want to say right now about how one can heal without being in relationship with another person. I believe there are other ways: work, children, dear friends, pets,interesting I am less inclined to say therapy. I do believe in therapy and the healing that can happen there. I think there needs to be more.An hour a week in a one sided relationship can only go so far.

Please email me. Nancy