Going to France!

We are going to France! We leave Fri. I so do not know how to pack my suitcase. Will it be hot? Will it be cold? I will cover both possibilities. I have always loved to drive out of the city. Years ago when I visited my parents in Arizona or California we would take day long trips to the mountains or the desert or the ocean. I loved it! Peaceful, refreshing, renewing.

I am dreaming of France in the country: castles, runes, gardens, hills, mountains, sea. Time out for sitting in the sun and sipping wine and eating baguette and cheese. I won't blog while gone. But I suspect I will come back a different person in some small or possibly great way. I generally do learn and grow and mature and change when I travel. It is just such a great opportunity to do all of that. This trip is about healing and celebrating. Clo and I are celebrating 20 years together. We have done a good job!! And we are pleased with ourselves.

My son and his wife visited this past week and I have again a deep awareness of the power of family. It was a joy to spend 5 days with them and I think they liked it as well. It was my oldest son and of course, I have been in his life the longest of anybody (his father isn't alive) and he has been in my life almost, not quite, the longest. History matters. Someone else who lived during those years and saw it from their perspective as well. Soooooo many things I wish I had done differently. But who would have known? I did what I knew to do.

Be intentional and mindful with your children and your partner. Absolutely EVERYTHING remains with them somewhere. Maybe not in their total upfront consciousness. But somewhere in their body, soul, spirit, very cells, lives everything we say and do. Forgiving is difficult. Doing it right the first time whenever possible is wise.

Think before you speak. Consider before you do something. Stay conscious. Life gets complex and we get distracted and those we love best pay the price. Always lead with love. My oldest daughter has taught me to always lead with the child in mind and to be a team with your partner. Our own needs can far too often get in the way and then we may well have an opportunity to regret that in the future.

Stay mindful. Remember to intentionally appreciate each other. Your partner and your children are the greatest love of your life. Nurture than love.

More after France. Hugs, Nancy

Overwhelm and Balance

Last week was blazing summer! Today is total fall. What happened? I can change clothes pretty much but it is always the shoes. I hate shoes! I like sandals: free to wriggle my toes and not hot and stuffy.

Nonsense aside, I have been writing on Linkedin about Overwhelm and Balance. It annoys me that so many of those who responded talked about their overwhelming life and then gave us the overwhelming details. I want to discuss the affects of overwhelm on YOU and learn from you ways you intentionally find balance.

As I see it Overwhelm is when life is simply too hard. Too much going on and not enough resources to safely support you. You are no longer safe and secure in your trust that you can pull it off day by day, year after year. What I do when I am overwhelmed is take a nap. Really! I call it my integrating time. For me, overwhelm means too much chaos, unmanageable demands upon my time and attention, problems I don't know how to solve....a nap with Aimee on my belly and legs settles me and brings me back to a place of safety and sanity.

I am serious about this! Aimee's gentle energy and unconditional love give me great comfort. She helps keep my heart in sinus rhythm. Everyone needs something comparable in their lives at least occasionally. Balance means bringing in moments of respite. Breathing space. Relief from facing the war zone over and over again. One of the things I share with clients is that having an end point helps: in one week things will shift, by this time next year this will be solved, ....somethings don't have an end point. So we have to create our own: in one week I will take half a day and just rest, walk, listen to music, dream, read, do yoga...

Sometimes we have to turn the burden over to someone else, even when it isn't ideal. My friend's mom has two broken hips and wants to live with my friend who has 3 children and a more than full time job out side of her home. It isn't an option. She and her mom need to find other ways to care of her and let her know she is loved and safe. Even when it feels like there is no way out, there really is! It may not be your first choice or even your second, but if you fall apart, the whole system goes down the drain. When you feel overwhelmed, think BALANCE. I MUST find balance.

Then do it! Write to me. Tell me what you do or want to do or wish you could do when you are overwhelmed. We could chat. I don't have answers, but I may have hope. Hope is a good thing.

Warmly, Nancy