I Love My Work

A fresh, hot, strong cup of decaf, sun shinning, blue sky, lovely music, the most adorable puppy on the plant sleeping ON my feet.......what more could I ask for in life!

Have I told you lately that I love my work? I really do. I am so fortunate. Some people go through life not caring one way or the other, or hating their work, or vaguely dissatisfied, or vastly dissatisfied. Not me. When I get restless, I just change how I am with clients to add a bit of freshness for me. I get such interesting couples. Even those who think they are ordinary have their own unique stories, challenges, and desires.

My latest is open adoption. I am working with a couple who know the birth family of the daughter they have adopted. They adopted 3 years ago when the baby was 6 weeks old. For the first time they have hit an impasse that requires some guidance. What admiration I have for ALL involved. The birth parents have full access to the little girl. They are beginning to date again and are asking for overnight visits of a week or longer. The adoptive parents feel it is too disruptive to the child. Especially given that there are two very different cultures and cultural values involved. Already the little girl is fluent in at least 3 languages.

Thus far we have had as many as 6 of us in one room discussing what is best for this child. It is wonderful she is so loved and wanted. When is enough too much?? At this point I want to say," Just let her be a normal little girl!". Then I have to wonder what I mean by "normal". For her, this IS normal. Fortunately her adoptive parents are pregnant, (isn't that interesting how that happens sometimes!), so she will no longer be an only child. I love this family, bless this family, and so admire the commitment and devotion by most all of the family members, both biological and adoptive. And I think the little girl needs some breathing space.

Sharing our love. To much focus on one person can become overwhelming for that person. Sometimes kids like to just not be noticed for a bit. Just let me be naughty and pretend you didn't see it like probably would have been the case if there had been siblings around. Think about giving your kids a break from you! We so often long for a break from the kids. But I suspect the other way around is important as well. Too often I work with couples where one or both are VERY reluctant to allow anyone other than the two of them to care for the children. That has a tendency to exhaust a family. One evening a week or weekend, 2 to 3 hours minimum, you and your partner need alone time just for the two of you. Take a walk, have a glass of wine, snuggle together and watch a romantic movie, go to your favorite bakery and pig out.....whatever is fun for you both.

There is no such thing as too much love. But there is a danger in too much attention. ALL parents are doing the best they know how to do. Guidance can be encouraging, supportive, informative, and loving. Email me or phone, I am available for connection before a session. And I am delighted to help you feel more relaxed and relieved as you travel down the path of parenthood, always doing the best you know how to do.

Hugs, Nancy

Angels on My Doorstep

Who would have thought!!! Rain. Almost NO snow this winter. What little we have had frustrated me at first, because Clo for sure can't shovel and I am limited. However, as is ALWAYS true, an angel will come when one is needed. Neighbours abound. Life is full of surprises and most of them are loving and kind. There are at least 3 willing souls living very close to us, who LIKE the exercise and are most willing to help us with snow issues. How lucky can one be!!

I don't think I told you about the applesauce angel, did I? Two days after receiving Clo's drastic and ominous cancer diagnosis, I was walking Aimee in the neighbourhood. Ahead of me I noticed a woman across the street talking with a man on his porch. She left him and crossed the street and happened to be right in front of us. We made eye contact, said hello, wondered if we knew each other and she reached to hand me a quart cottage cheese container. "Would you like some still warm, homemade applesauce?" she asked. "I have been passing it around the neighbourhood and I have extra!". It felt like a gift from the heavens. Warm, homemade applesauce. Like I used to make for my kids. Brown sugar, skins still on, delicious. An angel who unknowingly helped me remember the good, the kind, the love, in the world even when there is fear and pain and uncertainty.

All my life I have been taken care of by angels. At airports, on highways, on city streets, in hospitals.....again and again. When I loose track of angel contact I am reminded by finding a penny or a dime, which tells me every time that one or ten or however many, angels, are watching and taking notice.

Write to me about your angels. I will publish it on the blog if you want. Look for the little but significant random acts of kindness that impact you every day and you often forget to notice. Be aware when you are someones angel. A friend did not even realize she had lost her wallet with $500 cash in it plus credit and debit cards. It had fallen in the middle of the road in down town Toronto. She received a phone call from Il Fernello's, right across the street from where the wallet dropped, telling her someone had turned it in to them. Angels in all kinds of disguises. Everything was intact when she picked up her wallet.

Tell someone you love how they have been an angel for you. Think of someone for whom you want to unknowing to them, be their angel. Have fun. Play with it. Laugh. Enjoy. Love.

Hugs to all, Nancy

Try Dressing Up---It Might Be Fun

Off to the cardiologist. Hopefully he can help me better understand my tiredness. I am soooo content to read and sleep, see clients, read, and sleep. January and February are the months for that. Bears have the right idea. I have said that before. Hibernate for 3 months. What joy! But the world keeps calling me out. The world of cancer expects a lot of appointments. Clo can't drive, so although I was not driving much in the city a few months ago, I drive now and don't mind a bit. It helps me feel I have knowledge of my city and I am in charge of my life. So to speak. Cancer suggests I am not in charge at all!

The terrifically good news we received that tells us chemo and herceptin are working and Clo's cancer has shrunk has put smiles in our eyes and a lilt to our step. Clo celebrated by buying a gorgeous huge orchid for the bathroom. Looks very stately and unique. Quite like Clo. She is stately and unique. With her bald head and her lovely new clothes to enhance her ever changing body, she looks great and feels good about herself.

That is something we all need for ourselves and to hear from our partner. That we look great. And to feel good about ourselves. It is important to be intentional and mindful about admiring what you like and what you love in your partner. Even to be redundant. Never can we hear too frequently that we are dressed well or our hair is especially nice today or we are exuding lovely positive energy and well being. Being intentional about taking good care of ourselves gives everybody around us a lift as well as brings up our own spirits. Clo has been intentional about buying attractive well fitting clothes that flatter her and help her feel good. When she feels good she looks terrific. Fancy head gear, lovely jewelry, nice tunics, sleek pants and tights. Good feeling clothes for a good feeling day.

Take extra special care about how you look for the next 3 weeks. Check to see how that feels at the end of the 3 weeks. I bet you will realize a more positive sense of well being and be able to smile more even during challenging times. Try it. It might work.

Hugs, Nancy

The Power of Love

I watched the Larry Lewis YouTube video a bit ago called Power 2012. It is excellent. You can find a link on my web: either the home page or the newsletter page. Don't remember which one Jane, my web designer said she used.

Larry says 2012 is about Power and he uses music and photograph and lovely soothing words that read and sound like poetry, to tell us about that. It helped me feel comforted and secure. It put a smile on my face, and quieted my heart.

I, however, want to hone that down a bit. I think really it is already and going to be even more so, about the Power of Love. January is not even over and Clo and I have profoundly experienced the power of love in our lives. The holidays were all about family loving, and us soaking it up and giving it back with delight and joy.

A dear friend was with her dear friend yesterday as her friend of 40 years or more died after a long illness. She told me it was an experience of peace and pure love. Transforming. I think it is a miracle when we can totally set aside judgements, criticism, negativity, and perfectly surround our inside self and outside self with the peace and well being of knowing love fully. Another word that might fit is bliss. Or even joyfulness.

My experience is that our planet and our people are in a great deal of distress and it is showing by natural disasters, as well as dis-ease, pain, relationship challenges, financial/economic struggles, spiritual questioning and meaning of life crisis. I believe more and more of us are realizing the ONLY answer to our current planet wide crisis is LOVE. What every single soul in this world wants, needs and deserves is to KNOW they are love. To know we are wanted, that we belong, that there is a gentle, tender place for us, is the birth right of every single living thing. And to be able to give love fully, we first need to allow ourselves to receive love.

Clo is a living, thriving example of the healing power of love. She has never known, never been so conscious and aware and allowed herself to deeply feel, how much love there is for her in this world. Now she knows. And she is healing.

Let others love you. Really! I can just hear you saying, "Of course, I will let myself be loved, but I need someone who will do it!" Let yourself see and feel and absorbed and accept and welcome what IS. Slide right over what isn't. Others may love you differently then you think you want to be loved. Let the sunshine in. Let well being surround you. Let good intentions fill you full. LET it happening. Love is happening everywhere, and we often miss it. There is love in music, in the clouds, in the wind, in animals, in doing good work, in receiving and preparing good food, in every smile, in tummy aching laughter, in the sunset or bird song, or a child's eyes. Don't miss it. It is everywhere.

Each night before you fall asleep remind yourself: Today I felt loved when......Today I felt loving when...... Watch your list grown with each night. Love yourself.

Hugs, Nancy

Welcoming 2012

Last posting I was looking forward to 2012 and Jan. 2. It is here!

I more than survived the holidays,,,,we all thrived. What a loving, busy, supportive, heartfelt, hopeful 10 days we have had! Most of my family with us: one family is celebrating a new baby and unable to come. We all loved going to Mary Poppins together, we ate great food cooked by Clo and all, we opened presents, walked Aimee, went to the ROM, had a marvelous time shopping with the 3 grand kids for their Christmas gifts, lots of laughter, good will and healing energy. Life is good.

It feels very mixed to have everyone gone now. Quiet. A good thing and sad. The very walls and air throughout the house if filled with the love and joy shared during Christmas week. They will be back. And I feel like resting and reading. But man! It was good to soak up the good will amongst all.

I look forward to 2012. It feels like a new start. We are pretty grounded in the cancer survival expectations, our love for each other holds and grows, our gratitude is enormous. I feel peaceful and hopeful

My wish for each of you is that you make a great long list of all you appreciate and are grateful for. Beginning with being appreciative of yourself and all you have done with your life thus far. Remember the good and the positive. Move away from any negative thoughts or fears. Share your list with at least one loved one. And hold each other tight when you have finished sharing.

I wish for physical and emotional health for everyone and for the planet. I see perfection for all of us. Love yourself and love each other. The only real gift any of us has to give.

Hugs, Nancy