Post Family Day

I should have titled the above blogging. It should have been Family Day. I forgot!

Family Day was a surprising day of respite. Felt lovely to have a surprise 3 day weekend. My family comes this coming weekend for a visit. We will be a houseful of love. I soooo look forward to them being here.

Life has changed! I can hardly believe it. I had an unsuccessful cardio version a couple of weeks ago and have been taken off a major medication is preparation for another ablation. Being off Dronedarone is a blessing! My heart is beating too fast, thus the need for the ablation. But the Dronedarone was not doing it's job so Dr. Crystal took me off and I feel waaaaay better! Not as many naps. More energy. Better spirits. Yaaaay for getting of medication that is not doing it's job.

I actually do not FEEL like an ablation is unnecessary and am tempted to skip it. However, just adjusting to a fast heart beat isn't the answer either. So I will listen to the doctor I trust entirely and listen to myself as all unfolds. I want to be able to take care of Clo, should the cancer take over again for her. Thus far she is tired and in some pain, but largely doing well. We are taking care of each other, as my mother used to say about her and my father. Good job!

Take care of your beloved. That is what life's journey is about: love, care, safety, belonging, being wanted, feeling connected to more than yourself. Be intentional and mindful about saying and doing things to help your beloved feel secure with you. Take a big breath. Let it out slowly. Think: what would s/he like me to do that I haven't done in awhile? An extra big hug? A warm bubbly bath together? Nice music and a glass of wine? A walk in the woods? .......something easy and loving and fun. Be intentional.

Email or phone me. I love to talk. Especially now that I feel so much better. Hugs, Nancy

Today is Family Day. Most folks have the day off work and it appears to me actually are spending it with their family. Brilliant!

I think most families in Toronto who have not left the city for a long weekend, were down on Queen St. E. today! Families and dogs filled the street and stores. Music played at Qew Beach Park. Green balloons bobbed in the air. The sun was shining, people were eating ice cream cones. It felt light and easy and safe. Probably more about me then anyone else. But a lovely day for being alive.

I hope you are sharing a lovely day for being alive with someone you love and who loves you. Special moments create lasting memories. That is what love is: a string of special moments and co created memories. Love someone. Let someone love you. It is a heady experience. And allows us to know bliss, if only briefly.

Give me a call or email me if you think I might be able to help facilitate you and someone important to you in an open dialogue about any thing at all that is important to both of you.

I am looking forward to hearing from you. Go right now, real quick, and find someone to hug. Notice how when you give a hug you get one too. Two for one! Blessings. Hugs to all, Nancy

Women Friends Who Bond With and Help Heal Each Other

A very dear friend from my past life as director of the Day Treatment Centre and the Psychodrama Centre at Battle Creek Adventist Psychiatric Hospital 20 years ago, came back into my life a few months ago. We talked on the phone some, she sent me a lovely Christmas card, I responded and the we talked! Oh my, did we TALK. You know! The way you talk with someone you know and knows you, you care about and cares about you, someone bright, energetic, wise, dear and very special. I felt so seen and cared about and understood. I felt so open and giving and available.

A few years ago her husband died of cancer. I have found the mentor/friend/comrade I have been looking for to walk through this journey with me giving me wise and loving suggestions and helpful support. I feel blessed. And oh, so fortunate. And this isn't one sided at all. She has a grand child, I have three, she lives alone with someone special in her life, I support and admire her choices. There is absolutely nothing in the world like women exchanging information, support, caring, history, similarities and differences with each other. Our women friends help us produce healing and bonding hormones. Feelings of well being and joy for life.

There is a particular depth of intimacy shared with a life partner that includes sexual and physical intimacy not shared with anyone else. There is a particular depth of understanding and knowing, that leads to intimacy, with special women friends that finds a place of connection and security like no other place. Both intimacies founded on integrity and to be held in profound honour. Not in competition with each other. Differently equal. And differently life enhancing.

Learn to nurture your life partner. Never let go of the power of the relationship with special, dear, beloved women friends. Make a list of the women who have impacted on your life. Women you know, knew, read about, heard about, made up. My first female hero was Joan of Arc and my second one was Wonder Woman. Closely followed by two precious aunts and a very gifted woman in University who taught me Improvisational Drama and Street Theater, who guided and loved me out of a trapped life and told me I had talent and hope.

It is fun to look back and realize the influence these women have had on my life and to wonder what parts of them I have incorporated into me. I would love to hear about your heroes. Who have you come to love as you age and find peace and joy in knowing they hold you in their heart and you in yours?

Get at that list. I am SURE it will give you a lift, put a smile on your face, and help you take deep relaxing breaths of life giving oxygen.

Hugs, Nancy