Growing and Stretching In The New Normal
Something so amazing is happening that I am almost embarrassed to write about it. But I am bursting at the seams and can't seem to keep my mouth shut or my fingers otherwise engaged!
I AM HAPPY!!! How can that be true?? It IS true. At this moment, this is what I think about that. In another moment, or another day, or another......but now: I go back to the warm up to leaving for France and our 2 weeks in France. I was sick. I was not at all sure I wanted to go. I froze when I got there and was even sicker. Clo and I were both so sick in France, and although we did have a good time, the memory is always coloured with how sick we both were. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 11 days after we returned to Canada. Since then a LOT has happened.
And I think I have finally caught up with myself and my life challenges. I drive everywhere, I cook some when I want to, mostly I don't want to, I entertain MY way, I walk briskly with Aimee, I have terrific friends and incredible connection and relationship with my children and grandchildren, I feel healthy, wealthy and wise!
I feel confident I have gotten a grip on life. I felt like I was losing my grip there for awhile. My own previous 2 or 3 year battle with heart challenges set me back big time. I really lost confidence that I could take care of myself. NONSENSE! I do an incredible job of taking care of myself. As well as taking care of those I love and am responsible for. What joy to have myself back. With hope the new normal Nancy will stay around until it is once again time to adjust to yet another new normal.
Trust yourself. Oh, please, do TRUST yourself. You can do ANYTHING. Really. Having courage does not mean you are without fear. It means you have learned to live with fear, find the ways in which fear is actually your friend, and set aside the part of fear that is not useful. When you are afraid for your partner or child, stamp your foot and shake your head. Remind yourself that even the incredibly scary and threatening stuff is an opportunity to learn and grow. Join forces with the one for whom you feel fear, and together it all feels way more doable. Even small children can join us in helping take the best possible care of them. We ALL want connection. We ALL want to fit, to belong, to be loved. Join forces with your loved one in a manner that generates even more love between the two of you.
Battling with or for your beloved is not useful. Battling is not useful. It wastes time and energy. Loving, supporting, finding peace and hope, receiving support, asking for support.....it all makes life worthwhile. Even at the worst of times.
In the midst of our latest brain tumour crisis, I asked Clo what would be helpful, what would feel like comfort and be nice.....she said,"Having Liz White soup and Nancy Christie muffins in the freezer....!' Now isn't that easy. AND true. Comfort food. Soothes and heals. Knowing you are loved. Liz and Nancy were delighted to help out. We even got some brownies out of it and that was all gluten free. Luxury.
There are worse case scenarios than one partner has significant heart challenges and simultaneously the other partner has stage 4 cancer in breast, liver, bones, and brain. But you probably agree the scenario I have described is a challenge. And today I can say it is surmountable. I will let you know what next week brings when we get the update from Dr. Warr re: radiation, chemo, and CT scans. But I doubt seriously I will every forget this powerful learning and integrating I am currently doing. Learning how well I can function and how brave and positive Clo can be. We are a team! And it is so much the trust and the loving, the knowing where we fit and belong, the knowing we are wanted and we have found home that holds all of this together. Hallelujah
Write me. Hugs, Nancy
I AM HAPPY!!! How can that be true?? It IS true. At this moment, this is what I think about that. In another moment, or another day, or another......but now: I go back to the warm up to leaving for France and our 2 weeks in France. I was sick. I was not at all sure I wanted to go. I froze when I got there and was even sicker. Clo and I were both so sick in France, and although we did have a good time, the memory is always coloured with how sick we both were. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 11 days after we returned to Canada. Since then a LOT has happened.
And I think I have finally caught up with myself and my life challenges. I drive everywhere, I cook some when I want to, mostly I don't want to, I entertain MY way, I walk briskly with Aimee, I have terrific friends and incredible connection and relationship with my children and grandchildren, I feel healthy, wealthy and wise!
I feel confident I have gotten a grip on life. I felt like I was losing my grip there for awhile. My own previous 2 or 3 year battle with heart challenges set me back big time. I really lost confidence that I could take care of myself. NONSENSE! I do an incredible job of taking care of myself. As well as taking care of those I love and am responsible for. What joy to have myself back. With hope the new normal Nancy will stay around until it is once again time to adjust to yet another new normal.
Trust yourself. Oh, please, do TRUST yourself. You can do ANYTHING. Really. Having courage does not mean you are without fear. It means you have learned to live with fear, find the ways in which fear is actually your friend, and set aside the part of fear that is not useful. When you are afraid for your partner or child, stamp your foot and shake your head. Remind yourself that even the incredibly scary and threatening stuff is an opportunity to learn and grow. Join forces with the one for whom you feel fear, and together it all feels way more doable. Even small children can join us in helping take the best possible care of them. We ALL want connection. We ALL want to fit, to belong, to be loved. Join forces with your loved one in a manner that generates even more love between the two of you.
Battling with or for your beloved is not useful. Battling is not useful. It wastes time and energy. Loving, supporting, finding peace and hope, receiving support, asking for support.....it all makes life worthwhile. Even at the worst of times.
In the midst of our latest brain tumour crisis, I asked Clo what would be helpful, what would feel like comfort and be nice.....she said,"Having Liz White soup and Nancy Christie muffins in the freezer....!' Now isn't that easy. AND true. Comfort food. Soothes and heals. Knowing you are loved. Liz and Nancy were delighted to help out. We even got some brownies out of it and that was all gluten free. Luxury.
There are worse case scenarios than one partner has significant heart challenges and simultaneously the other partner has stage 4 cancer in breast, liver, bones, and brain. But you probably agree the scenario I have described is a challenge. And today I can say it is surmountable. I will let you know what next week brings when we get the update from Dr. Warr re: radiation, chemo, and CT scans. But I doubt seriously I will every forget this powerful learning and integrating I am currently doing. Learning how well I can function and how brave and positive Clo can be. We are a team! And it is so much the trust and the loving, the knowing where we fit and belong, the knowing we are wanted and we have found home that holds all of this together. Hallelujah
Write me. Hugs, Nancy
posted by Nancy Ross at
11:28 AM
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