Living! With Cancer

That is the operational word: Living! What a rush the past 5 weeks have been and what a relief it is to be in today. Yesterday we learned that Clo is responding remarkably well to treatment. Her prognosis has gone from 6 weeks to 3 months as we were originally told, to 10 years or more! A giant leap, I would say!!

We attribute this remarkable response to 3 things: 1) exquisite medical care,2) Clo's ability to remain positive, 3) prayers, out pouring of love, emails,Face book, family and friends visiting, incredible help and support.

Clo feels certain the learning for her in this process is that she is loved. The gift is two fold: great quantities of love have been poured out to her and she has opened herself up to being able to receive all of that love.

I feel like I want to expand eloquently about the healing power of love. Dr. Sue Johnson's book Hold Me Tight, says it very well in the first 30 pages. The movie Cold Mountain with Michelle Kidman tells a beautiful story about the power love has to keep us alive. Research has been showing for years now that we can not thrive without touch, love, belonging, feeling secure and safe.

If your relationship is floundering, if you or your partner are physically or emotionally ill or stressed, if someone you know is depressed or barely surviving, consider the possibility they are not feeling fully loved and securely connected.

So much more to say! Not enough time at the moment. Let yourself be loved. Feel it and know it. Trust what you are told. If you were not properly loved as a child, there still is time to heal from those wounds. Risk being vulnerable and allow for differences. You can NOT survive, much less thrive, without love. Let me guide you when it feels too much to tackle just the two of you. A third person holding the love and the hope can help you move swiftly to a place of joy and even bliss.

In love and gratitude for a good life and feeling deeply love, Nancy

Up-date in the Ross-Couture Household

Haven't written for ages. Life changes in a flash! One day we are in France, 9 days later in the emergency room in Toronto. Clo has stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to the liver and spine and hip and shadows on her lungs. She is in bed, unable to eat, barely able to walk. Friends, family, colleagues, many, many we do not even know, have written, phoned, brought in food, sent love, prayers and meditation, given support and amazing care and kindness. Through love and excellent medical care, steroids and pain medication and chemo therapy, Clo is once again energized and planning U.S. Thanksgiving at our house for 9 of us. There are 12 expected for a week at Christmas.

An amazing whirlwind. She has lost her hair and today we went scarf and hat shopping. Wed. we talk with the oncologist for the first time since the diagnosis, to see what kind of progress is being made. Life has changed.

I continue to work and love my work and see it as a excellent way to centre and focus myself so I can feel balanced and sane. I think my heart has opened and my empathy deepened through this process so far. I learn from Clo as she takes each moment and fills it full of life. I watch my adult children and grandchildren as they reach out in love and provide hands on care. They take turns moving in and out so as not to overwhelm us but to provide the support and security we both need. Clo has done a will. We have talked to a realtor friend who has made suggestions should I be alone, or should Clo be unable to navigate the stairs. Together, we are planning an uncertain future and making loving memories.

Love every minute of every day. If you don't love what you are doing, do something different. Find out what you love and bring it into your life. There is no other reason for doing this life time. It is about learning to love, to feel joy, to like yourself and who you are. Breathing is good, smiling is great, laughter is healing, bliss is possible for all of us. I am the holder of hope. I always have been and always will be. I will hold the hope for you and your relationship should you want me to do that with you. I have long known how to hold hope, and my skills are being tested and strengthened through this journey Clo and I have just embarked upon together.

Blessings my friends. More another time. Nancy